Dear Amazing You,
There is only one you. There is only one of each child. They are each different. They are each created from a warm womb filled with more than nutrition. Their genes have been influenced for many generations, especially since their grandmother’s pregnancy. Her health and experience has influenced who they are today. You, too, are influencing your granddaughter as her eggs are created in your womb during gestation.
Your children have delicate sensitivities to stress and environment… especially for the need of love and response... any kind of response that lets them know you're trying. Love comes in many forms. Love is known by what we know. You have been creating your personality for many years - it won't be changed in a day, a year, a childhood. Love is understood by what we feel… and fear. Knowing that someone is willing to give us energy is the first step of love. It doesn’t have to be anyone’s description of perfection – but simply coming from a place of wanting to be there for those we care about. We are all instinctively protective, and that comes in many forms. Though, the biggest protection we can create is love. Parent from a place of love.
There are no right answers. There are no right ways to birth, to live, to parent… to discipline. There is a tremendous difference in parenting with and without love. Parenting can be hard. Why judge other mothers for struggling with the same difficulties? The same culture created on feminist views of working, independence, and poor appreciation for motherhood? The same culture created where a father is away from home the majority of the time. The same culture where the family doesn't live together, work together, learn together. How can it be so easy for a culture that does all the opposites of what a mother needs to parent to her fullest? Remember this. It isn't just a choice - the knowledge, support, and ability to sleep and be healthy are crucial.
Remember how hard it is to make decisions. Remember those times you’ve felt lost. Remember that this is YOUR journey. Block the others out. You are the only person that can take care of you, really.
Stop judging yourself. When you are able to own your choices, you will feel confident in them – even when you change your mind later and feel strongly in another way. If you need more knowledge to feel that confidence – go get it. No one is stopping you, but you. It comes from an inner belief of wanting to do more for others than yourself… and at the same time being able to do more for others because you are at a place of peace and humble. When you stop judging yourself, you will stop judging other mothers. Each time a thought comes to your mind about what is right, and wrong, remember that you will never understand someone else’s situation. Support them as a human being, and sometimes that will mean simply a smile and a nod… and a caring silence of walking away, and more often a caring effort to stay with them during the day and help them with the day to day of life. If that sounds hard, remember that it is and our culture influences our ability to live biologically. You do not need the stress of fixing other people… because you are not perfect yourself. Know that this is OK. Know that being alone is never really being alone. Having time to listen to your spirit is one of the most wonderful ways of being able to connect with others and support others. Heal yourself.
Eat well. Drink well. Love. Find peace. Find humble. Breathe fresh air often. Walk often. Play often. Get off the computers, and the phones, and the tablets, and the electricity often. Feel your feet on the ground. Eat the greens of the earth. Smile.
Build your relationships with those that support and protect you. Those that do not uplift you, care for you, respect you, and acknowledge your gifts of love and energy are only taking energy from you and not returning. You need that energy to love.