Archive

birth sucks Esali Birth

Ever just felt like pregnancy and birth sucks and you're tired of keeping those thoughts to yourself?

Along the wall, behind the ivy, you'll find a hidden door... inside is a hidden world of ancient beauty, anticipation and hard work.

In this garden, anything goes.

You're excited.  You've plastered your walls with positive mantra posters.  You've encouraged all your friends to take birth classes.  You have a doula.  Maybe you're birthing in a birth center or at home.  You think positive about your pregnancy and birth.  You've prepped for natural birth.  Maybe you've even watched Orgasmic Birth and anticipate an enjoyable smooth labor.

Then, sometimes... birth sucks.

Sometimes, you just aren't feeling the happy thoughts.  Sometimes life happens and pregnancy sucks.  Sometimes you just eat the cookie and guzzle a milkshake and lay in bed all day and pregnancy sucks.  Sometimes you ache, you complain and you're exhausted trying to feel better.  Now where can you turn?  Negative thoughts and negative birth stories are often forbidden among "positive birth groups."

Sometimes, you feel like you do everything "right" and it just doesn't make a difference.  (Maybe not an immediate difference, anyway).

Want to know one of the most amazing parts of having a perinatal mentor?

You can tell me your secrets.

The thing about sharing your negative feelings is that you're able to better let them go so you can focus more on the positive aspects of your pregnancy, birth, and life.  Having a safe space, or mentor, to talk out those thoughts can be an invaluable part of your healing process from a previous birth, overcoming a fear from someone else's birth or working through personal struggles in your relationship and life.  Sharing your journey of positivity AND the not so positive is the best approach to a truly wholesome experience.

Sometimes birth sucks; it's true.  For some women, accepting this reality allows them to remember their birth in a much more positive light than if they felt mislead or their experience was suppressed because it was too negative to publicly share in the group they felt most connected to.  For some women, getting back to some raw feelings during pregnancy or even during labor can help them to move past something that may have annoyed them or angered them and isn't allowing their labor to progress.  We live in a very pc world, but those labor instincts don't always play nice with saving face.  Sometimes you just have to let it out and get raw.

Sometimes, birth sucks because...

  • You're tired.
  • You've been laboring for multiple days.
  • You've had a lot of prodromal labor.
  • You're scared.
  • Your family is annoying you.
  • Your birth team is annoying you.
  • Your birth location is unsupportive of your wishes.
  • Too many routines working against biology.
  • Too many people in your birth space.
  • Too much stuff going on in your birth space.
  • You had to make decisions differently than what you expected.
  • You had a birth experience differently than anticipated.
  • You're hungry or thirsty.
  • You keep vomiting when you eat or drink.
  • Your labor sensations feel overwhelming.
  • You weren't ready for a baby.
  • Your birth team feels too distant.
  • Your birth team feels too in your space.
  • You got the backup provider, especially if you don't mesh with them.
  • You have a physical ailment that is draining your energy.
  • What can you add to this list?

You don't have to love pregnancy.  You don't have to love birth.  You don't have to love breastfeeding.  You don't have to follow some specific protocol about the way you feel about your birth journey.

You have permission to feel like birth sucks.  You have permission to feel whatever you want about your birth, and to stop hiding it.

It doesn't always suck, I promise.  There will always be some positive points you'll be able to experience during pregnancy and birth - these are different for each of us.  One thing to remember is that talking about some of those positive points when recalling the negative points ensures that you don't mentally rewrite your birth story as only being negative.  Our brains are amazing organs capable of tricking us in so many ways and we can use that to our benefit.

[blockquote]"There is a secret in our culture and it is not that birth is painful but that women are strong” - Laura Stavoe[/blockquote]

If you're feeling like pregnancy or birth sucks, let's chat.  Let's explore why.  As a perinatal mentor, not only can I listen to your story, I can provide resources for remedying fears you may have, anger you may feel or just generally needing someone to listen to you tell your story that other groups may not feel prepared to hear.  Definitely a huge benefit of private birth classes and mentoring sessions.  You get to feel all the feels in this space along with guidance for supported your specific situation.

 

So, now you've found this door... how will you use it?  Will you nurture what's inside and allow the beauty to be seen?  It might take some fear, some tears and some hard work - but these parts of you don't have to be a secret anymore. #ALLthebirths

Merry Christmas from Esali Birth

Another year coming to and end - which means another beginning is soon to follow as well!  So many cycles happening here with Esali Birth... the joy and amazement is never ending!

If you're looking for a great stocking stuffer - or a quick last minute gift for a childbearing family in your life - Esali Birth mentoring gift certificates (which can be used on the website or locally) are available in multiple increments to cover digital classes, web-based mentoring sessions, complete series, and local doula support.  You can visit my mentoring page for more details on all the services gift certificates can cover and purchase certificates there or here:



Be sure to check out the Man's Guide to Birth... a digital pocket-style holistic guide just for dad (that moms can certainly benefit from as well) for the childbearing year.

Baby Basket Subscriptions are great for a stocking stuffer AND a gift that keeps on giving.  The Esali Baby Basket subscription box is a holistic hands-on craft style prenatal prep plus birth education and knowledge for years to come!  Single boxes available, too!

 

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this journey and looking forward to a beautiful holiday spent enjoying what matters most in this world!  Wishing you an amazing Christmas... and amazing whatever holiday it is that you may be celebrating... and a wonderful New Year!  No matter what it is you may be intentionally celebrating this time of year across the world - it is a time for so many to reflect on traditions and times long ago - and some still very prevalent - especially in the childbearing circles.

Tell me... what are you remembering this season?

Love and Blessings,

Danielle

At Esali Birth, we go far beyond "what to expect" in birth.  While "birth class" is often what people call it - that's simply because it is a term that has been around for so long.  Additionally, people think of the word "doula" as someone that only supports moms during labor - and that is not completely accurate, either.  Ideally, your care provider is the one that not only educates you and supports you and provides breastfeeding guideance, but reality these days doesn't really offer the opportunity for providers to have the time to do so.  This is where a birth educator comes in and then often a separate doula after that and then a separate lactation counselor after that.  However, reducing the amount of people not only in the birth itself, but overall during the perinatal journey has many values.  No matter what you want to call it - someone that provides a continuum of education and support from pregnancy through labor and into postpartum not only has the value of trust, but the value of knowing your personal journey.  Even more than a standard series, I LOVE focusing on individualized education - because just like your care provider for birth, the information you receive prenatally is specific to your needs.  Working with couples in private mentoring sessions allows me to focus on not only your questions, but techniques that are specific to your pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

What might a prenatal mentoring session look like?  That really depends on your goals, and where you are in your childbearing journey.  We may:

  • Talk about birth history and the birth industry and how that will influence your health and happiness - do you know how the business of birth changes your options and safety?  We'll talk about the safety of birth in the US, too.
  • Process a previous birth (or even a birth story you've heard) to reduce fear and move on to enjoying your perinatal experience - Do you know how this can affect the comfort and health of your birth?  We'll talk about that, too.
  • Work on body techniques to eliminate pregnancy discomfort and help position baby for the best birth possible - Do you know techniques you can do at home to reduce these discomforts and why misalignment changes even things like vaginal birth and VBAC?  We'll talk about that, too.
  • Discover nutrition that will increase your health, your baby's health, and reduce chances of things like rupture of the membranes before labor due to nutrition - Do you know about whole foods and herbal therapies?  We'll talk about that, too.
  • Find a birth team to best support your needs - Do you know what is available to you from home to hospital?  We'll explore your options.
  • Develop a relationship that carries into trust in birth so I am not only your "labor doula" - but a connected part of your team that knows more about your history, who you are, and what you desire - Do you know what a doula can do for you AND Dad?  Let's discuss that, too.
  • Build confidence in you AND dad so you can work together through the perinatal stages and become empowered parents - because confidence is key and I want you to walk away from a mentoring session with a smile and an energy excited for birth.

Wow, and that's just the tip of the iceberg!  Overall, we're not only working towards your goals in birth - but in creating the happiest birth possible because a happy birth is a healthy birth.  One on one sessions - virtually or locally - help you have that special time to focus on you and a guide along the way to provide you with information and resources that support you holistically without having to spend hours and hours in parenting groups and blogs trying to filter through the information.

Interested in a session or series?  Get in touch!

Well, hello there!  While we've seen a lot from each other through "Esali Birth," I wanted to take a moment to say a personal hello from me, Danielle from the Mid-Ohio Valley, and share a basic service and price list for all of you looking for perinatal support through the childbearing years in the Mid-Ohio Valley.

If you're new to Esali Birth you may not know my story which I love sharing throughout the many times we may meet on your journey.  Mostly, I am a modern gal living in rural WV that loves to intertwine instinctual, historical, knowledge with only the most beneficial parts of our modern world.  I wear many hats in my family and life and love the diversified options I have in this beautiful world.  I also love supporting families during the childbearing years from the most basic loving hug to the scientific ins and outs of childbirth.  Whatever you need in this moment is what I strive to provide.  Sometimes that is advice, sometimes it is research, sometimes it is nutritional guidance, and it is always understanding of your personal journey which is ever changing.

My services range from pre-conception counseling to childbirth education and doula support.  I have a variety of herbal blends available and custom blends that can be created for your specific needs from soothing foot soaks and beverage tea blends to body balancing while transitioning from medicinal birth control and perinatal support.  See my service menu below for a basic list of options in the Mid-Ohio Valley.

While I do require services be paid in full, I provide my NPI number and guidance for my clients to submit claims to their insurance to help cover doula education and support fees upon request.

Want to learn more?  See me chat with Marilee Marrow on Moms Everyday and visit my Support Page.  Find me on Skype @esalibirth for my online [free] "Office Hours."

Have questions?  Get in touch!

Hey, Momma! Yes, Dad, you're included! Cheers! You've got this! I know you have questions
and concerns.
Let's get those fears released
so you can simply enjoy pregnancy.
From family health and wellness
to "Doula 101" tips
everyone is included in an Esali Birth class
and webinar options make distance a non-issue.
Archives
Categories
Close

Message

Tell me your story. I'd love to help you have a happy healthy birth!

    • Subscribe error, please review your email address.

      Close

      You are now subscribed, thank you!

      Close

      There was a problem with your submission. Please check the field(s) with red label below.

      Close

      Your message has been sent. We will get back to you soon!

      Close